Panic week?

If you look at the standings and remember the season's still young, there's no reason to panic yet. But if you're more realistic, you understand that the season is already 35% over. And after an underwhelming week 5, it's time to overthink things and potentially make some hasty decisions.

As someone who knows everything that goes on in his or her league, I can tell you there has been a ton of behind-the-scenes maneuvering over the last few days. League sources confirm that a minimum of 3 players in the top 5 of fantasy scoring were shopped around this week. Sources couldn't confirm the rumor that Ben was trying to get involved in these trades by almost orchestrating the 1st ever InterFantasy Trade--offering up Durant & Pujols for Chris Johnson & AP.

The only trade that came to fruition was Thursday morning when the Polar Bears & The Bink agreed to terms on a 5-player swapperooski. The Polar Bears (2-3) traded Reggie Wayne, Ryan Mathews and Mark Sanchez and in return got Philip Rivers and Shonn Greene.
The Breakdown:
-The Bink (1-4) was having flashbacks to a 3-19 record in fantasy baseball this year and decided they couldn't stand by and watch the team go to shit without taking action. Thus the plan was hatched to trade their best player in exchange for multiple "good players" in return. I hope you're happy Binks, you get to root for 2 NY QBs the rest of the year.

-Polar Bears, time will tell if this move was the result of careful decision-making or rash, unstable behavior. If I had scored the most points in the league, I would maybe keep the band together until my terrible luck changed.
One team owner, who wishes to remain anonymous, said he would have traded for Rivers simply to keep him out of the Polar Bears lineup. This owner now thinks Fred's team is the "complete package."

I feel like the group needs to know that Fred & I had about 6 hours of intense negotiations this morning, only pausing for lunch breaks. And I must say it was a privilege to work with him. Very accommodating, very open-minded. Willing to get extra creative. Only offered up a BJ as part of his proposal once.


It seems like a particularly pathetic week when 5 teams put up less than 80 points. Only week 4 was worse overall for our league so far this year. And you know what else sucked about week 4? Everything. That was the week where every possible pick, bet and fantasy start went horribly wrong. And just like week 4, my instincts are saying this might be the 1st ever stay away week. I'll reluctantly throw out some of my "favorite" picks for the week, but just remember "favorite" in this instance is on the same level as saying my favorite Yankees player is Nick Swisher.

Here we go:
-San Diego (-8.5) @ St. Louis - I know, the Chargers are 0-3 on the road this year, and yes, they were the 1 team to fuck me out of an 8-team teaser last week, but still at some point this team's gonna put it all together. If they don't give up a special teams TD, I say they win by 10.
-Houston (-4.5) home vs. Kansas City - The Texans biggest weakness is their Passing D. Luckily, KC might have 1 of the worst passing offenses in the NFL. I'm assuming this is a low-scoring 1-TD win by Houston.
-Tampa Bay (+4.5) home vs. New Orleans - Until the Saints prove otherwise, I don't trust them to cover a spread.
-Chicago (-7) home vs. Seattle - The Bears are good enough to beat mediocre teams at home by a TD.
-Green Bay (-4) home vs. Miami - The Aaron Rodgers factor has to win a game for the Packers at some point, right? With news today that he's probable, I say the Packers win by more than a FG.
-Oakland (+7) @ San Francisco - Wait, what? The 9ers are 7-point favorites?...to win a game? This one is confusing & should yield me an amazing payoff.
-Dallas (+2) @ Minnesota - Betting against Brett Favre's arm (and penis) is easy money.

Again, I hate all of those bets, and I may change my mind 3 times between now & Sunday morning.

Moving on to the week 6 preview & predictions for our league:

The Bink vs. Team Preiss - I'm predicting myself to win this week...first time making that prediction this year. And as much as I'd like to pretend my brilliant trade is going to turn things around, it's more so because I'm completely unimpressed by MattyP's team this week. Every player on that team has been mediocre this year, and I honestly think Vincent Jackson's continued presence in the locker room is screwing with team chemistry.
Prediction: The Bink wins when Marcedes Lewis outscores Mike Sims-Walker on MNF.

Four 3 Year Olds vs. Team 1818A - This is one of those easy picks where I don't even have to look at Werner's team to know he's going to beat Scott this week. I heard a rumor that Scott was traveling recently, and Werner's holding out hope that Scott's neglection of his team continues through Sunday. Even if Scott checks on the team & makes the applicable roster moves that will allow him to field a healthy lineup, Team 1818A is still going to manhandle the 3 Year Olds. As if having AP & CJ wasn't unfair enough, Werner also lucked into having Brandon Lloyd & Malcolm Floyd, the 2nd & 4th best fantasy WRs, respectively. And their names rhyme too? Ugh, how do you do it, Werner?
Prediction: Obviously Team 1818A wins easily. Sorry, Scott. Your perch atop the league doesn't last long.

Market & Crack vs. My Last Year (Maybe) - Wow. This matchup has the potential to be legendary. Looking at Neil's team, I see what he must have envisioned when he drafted this year: Peyton projected for 27 points, his 2 young RBs (Charles & Rice) going up against soft defenses, and 3 of 4 receivers projected for double-digit days. But then you see what Mike's working with (every skill position projected for double-digits, 2 RBs going up against even softer defenses), and you get the sense this could come down to the wire. In this case the wire will be the Sunday night game where these guys have 4 players combined.
Prediction: Sorry, Mike. The Market & Crackers have a few too many reliable players this week. Neil wins a close one.

Dorchester United vs. Polar Bears Rule - The closest projected matchup, according to ESPN. This is the moment Ben's been waiting for all season--unleashing the Bigger Ben. Anything less than the 16 points for Big Ben projected by ESPN will be a disappointment. One thing that surprised when looking at Ben's team...did you know LeSean McCoy is ranked #2 overall for RBs? Did not realize that. And MoJo is #17. I'm assuming Ben expected the opposite to be the case when the season started. Though Fred gets to show off his shiny new toy in Rivers this weekend, I don't think that'll be enough to beat Dorchester. It's gonna take a big Anquan Boldin day in New England for Fred to have a shot at winning. This week is particularly important for 2 teams who feel they deserve better than their current under .500 records.
Prediction: Ben cracks triple digits & wins.

Mother Flippin' Pueto vs. JohnThomasMoynahan - Stop the presses! As I'm writing this blog, a trade has just been announced. JohnThomas is sending Donald Driver to Team Preiss & getting Michael Bush in return. Does this mean Bush will be starting this week over Mendenhall or Hillis? I have no idea. Hillis is questionable; Mendenhall is projected for only 5 as he goes up against an apparently dominant run D in the Browns. Bush is projected for 17, but with McFadden back, will he actually get there? Lots of questions surrounding this sudden move. Even if Bush starts for Blanchette's team & plays well, I'm not sure it matters. Pueto has good matchups for his QB & both RBs this week...curious why Jacobs only projected for 3 even though he's home vs. the Lions.
Prediction: Pueto's weapons outweapon Blanchette's weapons. Aaron wins a close one.

Once again, the predictions are:
-The Bink
-Team 1818A
-Market & Crack
-Dorchester United
-Mother Flippin Pueto

Last week was 4-1 again in these predictions, bringing the season total up to 13-2.

The plan for next week's blog is to change up the monotony a bit & do a review of what individual players are doing best, who drafted them, and where they were drafted.

Enjoy week 6.