Mid-point Check-in

This whole "work" thing fucking blows. Those of you in the fantasy baseball league remember the days where'd I pump out blog posts that were both on time and insightful? It feels like so long ago when I had that freedom to roll out of bed at 10:30, make myself a tasty hot coco, suck down a chalky bong rip, and get to work on the blog.

Now look at me...holed up in a conference room trying to discreetly bang out this post so I can keep my loyal readers happy. In the meantime, you should see the things I do every time my boss or any other VPs pass by this conference room. There's the fake phone call, with me yelling into a non-functioning phone, "You want how many users of Salesforce.com?? 600? I'll get right on it." (picture me doing this while giving a thumbs-up to my passing boss).

There's also the "look down at my computer & put my hands on my head while looking ultra-stressed." This one works particularly good right now because it's the last day of our quarter, so naturally all reps who are committed to their jobs are wheeling & dealing, trying to get that last bit of business in the door.

But not me... screw commissions, screw hitting my number...I'm all about spending my time posting a blog that people don't comment on & get to read for free.

On to football...
Is it me or does it seem like this NFL season is ridiculously unpredictable? My bodog account certainly agrees. And is this some of the worst football you've ever seen played? Did anyone watch that Redskins/Bears game last weekend? 9 turnovers, and the team that turned it over 6 times only lost by a Field Goal. Have you ever seen a worse field of "best teams" than Pittsburgh, NYJ and New England? Gross.
And looking at our fantasy league, it's safe to say the same thing is going on. No team is running away with 1st place, and only 1 team is running away with last place. Other than my putrid excuse for a ball club, the other 9 teams are tightly bunched up going into the 2nd half of the season.

Speaking of...did you know we're at the halfway point of the season right now? Because of that, and also because I'm going to get fired if I spend the next 3 hours writing this thing, I'm going to do something different, simpler, for the rest of the blog...Let's take a look at each team, in order of standings, and discuss which players are having the biggest effect on their season. Basically, I'm going to list out how many players in the top 50 of fantasy scoring are on each of your teams, where they rank & where they were drafted (or when picked up on waivers if applicable).

T-1st: Four 3 Year Olds (5-2, 606 points for)
Number of top 50 players: 4
-Rodgers = 3rd (keeper)
-Steelers D = 27th (13th round)
-Forte = 28th (5th round)
-Cal Johnson = 35th (4th round)
Scott surrounded Rodgers with a couple great picks in the 3rd & 4th rounds, but he also missed badly on a few....specifically keeping Randy Moss (not ranked in top 100), grabbing Pierre Thomas in the 3rd round & Felix Jones in the 6th. It's actually pretty hard to understand how this team's in 1st place right now.

T-1st: JohnThomasMoynahan (5-2, 580 PF)
Number of top 50 players: 6
-Schaub = 22nd (keeper)
-Mendenhall = 23rd (keeper)
-Hillis = 30th (picked up on 9/16)
-Britt = 41st (drafted 11th round by Market & Crack, picked up on 10/14 by JTM)
-Cassel = 43rd (picked up on 10/21)
-Vick = T-50th (picked up 9/16)
What a nice surprise that 1 of 2 teams I pick on the most is actually succeeding this year. And how has he done it? Beats me...I guess having no player ranked in the top 20 of fantasy scoring, and having 3 of your top 6 guys play the same position is a recipe for success? Some notable disappointmens in Blanchette's draft are: Beanie Wells (4th round), Welker (5th round), and Spiller (7th round).

T-3rd: Polar Bears Rule (4-3, 711 PF)
Number of Top 50 players: 5
-Foster = 2nd (5th round)
-Rivers = 5th (kept by The Bink, traded on 10/15)
-LT = 16th (11th round)
-TO = 42nd (12th round)
-Boldin = 48th (4th round)
Not that it needs to be said, but this is the team we should all be worried about. One of those cases where you need to look beyond the 4-3 record and notice Fred's team has put up the most points in the league...38 more points than 2nd place. Having 3 players in the top 20 certainly helps. It also helps to get a couple "steals" in the later rounds in LT & TO. What about the disappointments you ask? How about keeping Andre Johnson? Sure, he'll probably provide top WR value by the end of the year, but so far he's had exactly 2 productive weeks. Not too many boneheaded moves in the draft for PBears...and it probably helps his cause that I essentially handed him Rivers on a silver platter. Fucking PBears...

T-3rd: My Last Year (Maybe) (4-3, 673 PF)
Number of Top 50 players: 4
-Brady = 14th (kept by Dorchester, traded on 9/16)
-Gates = 17th (5th round)
-Collie = 25th (11th round)
-Bradshaw = 40th (7th round)
-Torain = T-50th (picked up on 10/7)
How does a team with 2 keepers not even ranking in the top 50 become so competitive on a weekly basis? Especially considering that one of the keepers, Knowshon, has been a virtue "no show" all year (channeled my inner Ben for that joke). Maybe it has something to do with getting a top 10 QB & top 10 WR via trade when all it had to give up was 2 lesser QBs & 1 underachieving RB. That's how you build a top tier team baby!

T-3rd: Mother Flippin' Pueto (4-3, 616 PF)
Number of Top 50 players: 5
-White = 12th (keeper)
-Ryan = 13th (10th round)
-Gore = 15th (keeper)
-Flacco = 24th (6th round)
-McNabb = 37th (12th round)
Seems like this is the first team where I can say that both keepers have worked out relatively well. Aren't keepers supposed to be sure things? Why aren't more of us able to keep the right players? Maybe this is the team with the most above average talent, but no one that blows you away. No players ranked in the top 10, but 4 in the top 25. I'm still confused by a couple teams, like this one, who ended up with 3 QBs in the top 50...is that a good thing? a bad thing? a neutral thing? The reason why Pueto's team is just a touch above mediocrity is evident in looking at rounds 3-5 in the draft: while he was out there grabbing Benson, Desean Jackson, and Addai (average, above average but hurt, hurt), he was passing on players like Arian Foster, Matt Forte and LeSean McCoy. Those are some critical rounds to miss on.

T-3rd: Team PREISS (4-3, 588 PF)
Number of Top 50 players: 3
-Brees = 7th (keeper)
-S. Jackson = 39th (3rd round)
-Turner = 46th (keeper)
On the one hand, this is the only team so far to "nail" his keepers + 1st pick in the draft. Good work, Matty. On the other hand, only 3 players in the top 50, and only 1 in the top 38. This team is overachieving a bit...evidenced by being the only above .500 team to have a negative point differential. This is a top-heavy team without many players who could step up and have an impact...maybe Lance Moore? Good to see Matty's not budging on keeping Vinny Jackson on his bench. Way to stick to your guns, dude. And the Favre pickup I'm sure will come in handy.

T-7th: Market & Crack (3-4, 642 PF)
Number of Top 50 players: 6
-P. Manning = 1st (3rd round)
-Orton = 6th (picked up on 9/16)
-McFadden = 9th (10th round)
-Nicks = 20th (7th round)
-Best = 31st (4th round)
-Maclin = 47th (9th round)
-Charles = T-50th (keeper)
If someone's gonna be getting screwed in this league, I'm glad it's Neil. And make no mistake about it, he's getting railroaded here. He's scored the 3rd most points in the league, yet would miss out on the playoffs if they began today. As expected, he's allowed the most points--44 more points than the 2nd highest team. Look at those players above. Three players in the top 10, seven in the top 50. And all but 1 were drafted. Neil might have outdrafted the rest of the league this year. The obvious weakenss is at WR, and if Neil was wise, he'd think about trading 1 of the solid 4 RBs he's hoarding for some receiver help.

T-7th: Team 1818A (3-4, 608 PF)
Number of Top 50 players: 5
-AP = 4th (keeper)
-Romo = 8th (4th round) = RIP
-C. Johnson = 10th (keeper)
-Palmer = 11th (drafted by PBears in 10th round, picked up on 10/28)
-Fitzpatrick = 21st (picked up on 10/28)
-Lloyd = 38th (picked up on 9/30)
Good Lord. Has anyone ever drafted worse than Werner? In any sport, ever? In case you aren't smart enough to infer what the above means, it means that Werner drafted exactly 1 players this year who currently sit in the top 50 of fantasy scoring. And that player is out for 2+ months (Romo). He kept 2 guys who are up there, and then made those 3 pick ups (2 recent enough that they haven't even played a game for his team yet). Werner, you're making my pre-season prediction of you finishing w/ a top-3 seed look awful. Maybe you won't be talking so much shit about "resetting the league so it's a more even playing field." The luck factor is finally swinging back around.

9th = Dorchester United (2-5, 539 PF)
Number of Top 50 players: 2
-McCoy = 18th (5th round)
-Titans D = 34th (picked up 10/14)
Now we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh? Don't worry, Ben. There's still 1 more team worse off than you. I've already written about this, but your 9th place standing might have something to do with "interesting" decision-making (trading your 2 keeprs--Brady & Jennings), as well as bad luck (Grant = 3rd round pick). Other than McCoy in the 5th round, Ben went heavy on WR at the top of the draft, and whiffed on almost all of them: Colston (4th round), Ward (6th round), Garcon (7th round), S. Holmes (8th round, inconclusive results). But hey, still far & away the leader in roster moves this year.

10th = The Bink (1-6, 486 PF)
Number of Top 50 players: 3
-E. Manning = 26th (10th round)
-Sanchez = 35th (udrafted, traded from PBears on 10/15)
-Wayne = 49th (keeper for Pbears, traded on 10/15)
If any of you think your life is rough, look no further than my patheticisim to cheer you up. I'm now a combined 4-25 between fantasy baseball & football in this calendar year. This is rivaling the Rams & Lions of recent years in terms of ineptitude. I feel awful. How can someone commisionize a league if he can't even claim to know anything about football?
Need a good laugh on a Friday afternoon? Check these draft picks out:
-J. Stewart = keeper = 1 week scoring more than 6 points
-Steve Smith = 4th round = 6 total points since week 2
-Forsett = 6th round = 1 week of double-digit points

Feel better now? You should.

No predictions from me this week, I'm too depressed. And if I try to give you advice on my favorite betting lines of the week, I'll only cost you money.

Enjoy week...whatever fucking week it is.